Wednesday, 20 February 2013


The Life of Blimey #2 - SMEG off!

Another Post from The TRAMPonline @TheBlimey ! Genius or Fucking Mentalist?

Another Post from @TheBlimey 
Enjoy! Either This Guy is Genius or Fucking mental!

"What does success look like, Big H?" I ask on this fine Sunday morning in Moulsham Street. Sunday morning, the best morning of the week. Usually preceded by the worst night of the week, when the local piss-heads fall out of The Fox & Gynaecologist causing a right kerfuffle.
Sunday morning in Moulsham Street is quiet. Because the shops are shut. Which means that me, Big H and Skinny Minnie, the local alfresco residents, get the chance of a lie-in.
I had recently changed abode, following a bit of good fortune. Comet,  the electrical retailer and latest victim of the double dip recession, had liquidated its stock and closed down. On hearing the news, Big H had commented in his usual insightful way "fucking smeg!"
"You made another loss on the stock market, H?" I ask.
"What? Fuck off Blimey. No SMEG" came the gruff response. "Smeg motherfucking fridges, have big motherfucking cardboard boxes. Let's see if we an get a couple." Which we did. But it necessitated a move to a bigger motherfucking doorway. Hence the carpet store for me. With me in carpets and Big H in curtains we had soft furnishings covered.
"So what does success look like, H? "What d'ya mean, Blimey?"
"Well, for a crash test dummy, success looks like putting your head through a windshield. Whereas for a bus driver, success look like getting back to the depot in one piece in time for a cuppa tea. So what does success look like for you, Big H?"
You could hear the cogs whiring as he thought about it.
"I'm hoping to write about it in my 'TRAMPOnLINE' blog, H and I'm looking for inspiration from you"
Big H cleared his throat and pronounced "Success looks like waking in the morning and finding I haven't shit meself" [his speech impediment was intermittent]
"Thanks for nothing, H"
"You are very welcome, Blimey, now blog-off"


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