Wednesday, 27 February 2013

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The Life of Blimey #3 - They eat Horses don't neigh?

Once More @TheBlimey : A TRAMPonline returns with more musings from his Box!



@TheBlimey is back! with more Life on the Streets! Genius or Fucking mentalist?

My friend and fellow street dweller, Skinny Minnie, has been helping out at the local RSPCA office just off Moulsham Street.
"I tell you what, Blimey," says Minnie, "that place is so bloody small you couldn't swing a cat"
Minnie hated animals, but the office was warm, dry and had a decent toilet. The RSPCA let Minnie do a bit of cleaning and she would wash the bedding. In return, she could eat all the cat food she liked and do her own washing. She liked to sit on the washing machine, although I know not why.
"Minnie, aren't you worried about the effect that all this cat food may have on you?" I asked
"No" she said "Did you know that there is less horse meat in cat food than in supermarket beef burgers and frozen lasagne?"
"I can believe it" I said "I hear Tesco meatballs are the dog's bollocks"
"Did you also know" said Minnie, who was full of useless information "that back in the 60s when Murray Walker was an advertising executive and selling cat food, he would prove the quality of KiteKat to sceptical buyers by opening and eating a can in front of them. He's nearly 90 and still going strong"
"I did not know that" sensing a topic for my blog, I pressed "but are you sure there are no side effects?"
"Nah" she replied "Mind you when I curl up at night I get an overwhelming urge to lick my own arse"
"Thanks for that"
"You're welcome, Blimey"

1 comments:

  1. LMAO! I had neighbor who would come over and eat our cat food when I was kid. He is in prison now.

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