Saturday, 30 March 2013

Episode IV: A New MOAN

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It's me again with the tricky fourth installment. We were discussing if there were any good fourth installments of films at work. We came up with: Rocky IV, Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire and (technically, due to the three poor new offerings and it having IV in the title) Star Wars: A New Hope. 

On that note, I thought this blog should be about films, or, as the Irish call them, filums. 

I watch a lot of them. 

I have discovered that watching a lot of movies turns you into a bit of a pretentious ass. You move from: That was a great film, to: the camera work was a bit jumpy, the lighting was poor and such and such an actor was just dialling in the performance.

It also means that friends stop asking your opinion. Instead they ask for a score out of ten and to just shut up. I also get unnecessarily angry with anyone who doesn't like a film I know is a five star classic or likes something that is godawful. My housemate informed me that he thought Taken 2 was 'outstanding' and I had to stop myself ripping out his trachea. 

Suffice it to say I like cinema-ing alone. This is usually met with: 'I could never do that!' Why, exactly? If you're planning to have a conversation during a film people have spent £10 on, fuck off to Blockbuster, get a dvd and go home. 

You don't need to take someone to not talk to. I can not talk to people far better when they are not there. 

You also start watching foreign films so as to appear more knowledgeable (a bit of a prick) and name drop directors only 2% of people will know about. Those people are quite pale and don't do well in public. 

Until next time, avoid films featuring Sandra Bullock and you have my permission to punch anyone talking in cinema square in the ovaries.

Hugs and kisses.

@nerfspur

Thursday, 28 March 2013

Curiosity Killed the Ditz #7 Bottom Lip Biting

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Curiosity Killed the Ditz: Bottom Lip Biting

Why; the three little words that haunt my existence. From the moment I could speak I always wanted to know why. Now as an adult I am finding less and less people that want to answer my questions. I have been called nosy or weird, and angered many a person, with just those 3 letters. This is my story, quest you could call it, to try and find answers to my Whys.


WHY DO PEOPLE BITE THEIR BOTTOM LIPS?

I received this question from a friend and it has caused me quite the pause. Why do people bite their bottom lip? Well, I do it when I am thinking, nervous, or Flirting, but I am not sure why. Let’s take each one separately.

Thinking:
When I am thinking hard on a issue I bite my lip. As I am right now. It seems that the light pain of my teeth on my lip causes my brain to focus on one thing. Basically, it seems like it is a way to center my thoughts and streamline all the ideas that are bouncing around in my head.

Nervous:
When I get nervous, I am always afraid of saying something that would embarrass me. Happens a lot. When I bite my lip, I think is my subconscious way to lock my mouth down. To prevent me from saying something I don’t want to say.


Flirting:
This is the fun one. When I want to kiss someone or I want them to kiss me, I lick my lips and bite my bottom one. The pressure on my lip helps me to control my thoughts and my body’s natural reaction to reach out. Also, the action around my mouth will draw their attention, hopefully J

To wrap this up, Why do people bite their lips? I don’t know about everyone but I do it mostly as a control for myself. Control my thoughts, my behaviors, and my ability to speak. I guess it is like a private spanking from Me to Me. A sharp little pain to warn my brain to behave. Yeah, I like that thought.


Keep questioning.
Love,
DD
Twitter: @DitzWitDTits

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

The Life of Blimey #7 - FanQ very much

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We all know what to expect now. So here we go! Another #TRAMPonline Blog.

"Hey Blimey!"
This was an unusual turn of events
"What is it, H and why are you starting my blog?
"Seems that you really do have fuckers reading your blog"
"Told you, H, but how do you know?"
"I've been reading your fan mail, Blimey"
"Huh?"
"Well, when I say 'fan mail' they are mainly death threats"
"WHAT???"
"Just kidding, Blimey"
"Thank God for that, H"
"Just the one death threat"
"What?"
"Yeah, from Colin's Carpets. Say's 'fuck off out of my doorway or you're dead' "
"Death by shagpile, could be worse"
"Seems your readers want to know stuff"
"Like what, H?"
"Here's one from some bird with big tits,  signs herself DD"
"Go on"
"Says 'Is Big H called Big H because of the size of his cock?' "
"No DD, it's because of the size of his inflated ego." 
"Was that a real question, H?"
"No, but I'm sure all the ladies love me, Blimey. Here's a real one,  from some geezer called @stewnami. He wants to know what's the best thing about being a bum? He must be a Yank unless he's calling you an arse, Blimey"
"Now that is a good question, Mr Stenami. The best thing about being a tramp, or a bum as you call it, is being able to expose myself whilst shouting 'fackorf you slag'. I was once caught on camera flashing and got pulled in by the fuzz"
"Yer, Blimey, and the police dropped the charges due to the shortage of evidence in your pants department, ha ha!"
Thanks for that, H"
"@LGreathead wants to know if you go on dates and if so where?"
"Money is an issue, Liane, so if I want to dine-out with a lady, I have to take her to the skip around the back of the supermarket at the top of Moulsham Street. I often take Skinny Minnie up the Lidl back passage"
"Dirty bastard, Blimey....... @DitzWitDTits seems to have the wrong idea about being a tramp, coz she's asking about 'bums cleaning house' what fucking house? You can't even keep you doorway shit-free, Blimey"
"Ah, another Americanism, H. She means periodically clearing out unwanted possessions"
"I never throw anything out, Blimey, mainly coz I ain't got nuffin in the first place"
"Tis true Miss Ditz, the only thing that H disposes of is his bodily waste. And that's only after the smell in his underpants becomes too unbearable, even for him"
"Not to mention the lumps, Blimey"

"So H, wouldn't you like a bit of this fan attention. Why don't you write a blog?"
"I'd rather shit in my hands and clap, Blimey"
"Thanks for that, H"
"You're welcome, Blimey"

Follow @TheBlimey

Tuesday, 26 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Tuesday ODDcast PODcast Ep.83

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Here is Episode 83 of The ODDcast PODcast UK. The Comedy Podcast that Nobody is Listening to!


Episode Eighty THREE - Popey Says Relax


The ODDcast PODcast UK, The Podcast Nobody is Listening to! #NOTlistening.
Hosted by Adam @BarkerPodcasts , Will @BadgerProdder and Ash @ConfusedasFark
Your Weekly Banter Filled Podcast from the heart of Essex. Contains Strong Language, Strong Opinions that may cause offence and Lots of Booze.

In Episode #83 of ODDpod, The Three Idiots with a Microphone sit down and talk about The vatican's use of a possible gay sauna near by, Flash Gordon, The ArchBishop of C**taBury, GoggleBox The Latest TV Sensation that has Adam and Will Divided plus much much more.

Also in this Episode Adam sits down for Part 2 of the #TwitterMillion Chat with TV's Emma Kennedy @EmmaK67 as they talk and Raise money for Charity. A Show that went out LIVE on Google Hangout and You Tube, Emma answers viewers questions and talks about her involvement in Red Nose Day.







You Can watch the Chat in FULL on You Tube here if you prefer
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CINNENuWfxI




The ODDcast PODcast UK @ODDcastPODcast is Part of The Barker PODcasts Collection and Also The POD GODS Network @PodGods

Please Comment, Rate and Review us on iTunes and Fav and Thumb us up on @Stitcher
Check out the Other Great PODcasts in The Barker PODcasts Collection at www.barkerpodcasts.webs.com

Including It's NOT Soccer PodcastMOVIEcommPanic StationsAsk An American and Pod God Dammit

Monday, 25 March 2013

Minogue Monday #4

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So Again, it's Monday and time for some Intellectual, thought provoking and Controversial blogging. This Post is made to open debate on the state of the economically reprecussions in......Oh Fuck it! It's Another #MinogueMonday! A simple excuse to blog about The Aussie Singer (?) simple because I have nothing better to say today. Enjoy

Todays #MinogueMonday asks the Question: What Year did Dannii Look Best in?

2013


2010


2008


2005



Saturday, 23 March 2013

ODDpod UK Presents : Chip Ninja

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So What is You Tube for? To Post important videos about the state of current affairs in neighbouring countries and the political standings between rival committees in the poverty stricken countries in africa?
Is it to post videos reviewing the lastest Blockbuster movie and to update us with news on who will be starring in the next great Comic Book Movie?
Is it to post videos of unknown comedians to finally get their comedy out there for others to enjoy and comedy videos for people to find on a platform that alows them to discover hidden gems?

Answer: YES

YOU TUBE is for EVERYTHING*. You can find anything on You Tube nowadays. I mean where else would you find a video of Two grown men slicing Potatoes using a Samurai ( Katana ) Sword?? Well I made sure there was a video for that demographic

CHIP NINJA

*EVERYTHING: as Long as it is in line with the You Tube Guidelines and rules and regulations.



Friday, 22 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Friday It's NOT Soccer Ep.15

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The Newest Episode of The Sports Comedy Podcast "It's NOT Soccer" 
In This Episode Adam and Billy hardly discuss Sports but the funny is still there. 


Episode Fifteen - Justin Bieber VS The World


 


It's NOT Soccer Podcast is a Comedy Sports Podcast with the mixed ramblings of Hosts Adam @BarkerPODcasts and Billy @Bilo66. Each Episode The two sit down and discuss everything worth talking about in the world of Sport and much much more. Ranging from English Soccer to International Sports to Random Entertaining news and the Odd revelation from Billy.
It's a Sports/Comedy Podcast........Kind Of!


In this Episode, Adam and Billy sit down and pretty much ignore any sporting news and decide to delve into stories about travels to India, Justin Bieber crying whilst in the UK, Rick James Bitch, The world of Gambling and more. Make sure you follow us on Twitter @NOTsoccerPod

Listen in and enjoy The Show about Sports and More.






Please Rate and Review The Show on iTunes and Fav and Thumb Us up on @Stitcher
It's NOT Soccer is part of The Barker PODcasts Collection. You Can go and Enjoy the Other Podcasts in the Collection by visiting the Website and Liking The Facebook page. www.barkerPODcasts.webs.com

Podcasts include The ODDcast PODcast UKMOVIEcommPanic StationsPOD GOD Dammit! and Ask An American

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Curiosity Killed the Ditz #6 Closure

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Curiosity Killed the Ditz: Closure
Why; the three little words that haunt my existence. From the moment I could speak I always wanted to know why. Now as an adult I am finding less and less people that want to answer my questions. I have been called nosy or weird, and angered many a person, with just those 3 letters. This is my story, quest you could call it, to try and find answers to my Whys.


Why is closure so hard to come by?

What do you do when you want to close down a relationship? Do you bother to tell the other person? With the age of technology, we build relationships that are not face to face. This is great, except it has made it all to easy for us to ignore unpleasant things, like saying goodbye or I am no longer interested. Forget "Dear John," letters, lets just block the person. Even better, just pretend they don't exist.

You may say "But Ditz, I don't want to hurt their feelings...or it's not real so why does it matter". Not only is it hurtful, rude, and insensitive, it is also a great way to drive a normal person nutty. 

Example:
Judy: Thanks for the great talk Bev. We need to do this again.
Bev: Absolutely. It has been great.
1 day passes:
Judy: (Bev's VM) Hi Bev, I have tickets for a show on Friday, are you interested in going?
2 days pass:
Judy: (Bev's VM) Hi Bev, Sorry to bug you but I wanted to know about Friday. Its fine if you can't go, i just need to know.
3 days pass:
Judy: (Bev's VM) Hi Bev, please call me. I really need to figure out my plans for Friday. Thanks.
4 days pass:
Judy: (Bev's VM) OK Bev, I get the picture. Sorry to have bothered you, don't bother calling back.
Bev To Bonny: You know, I had fun with Judy but I just don't have time for another relationship. Can you believe she just went crazy on me. Calling everyday and getting all bent out of shape when i didn't call right back. Yikes!

Sound familiar? Now Judy and Bev could be friends, coworkers, dating, it doesn't matter the situation is the same. All Bev would have had to do is call Judy back and say I can't go Friday, or say I had fun the other night but I am too busy right now to do much of anything outside of my normal schedule. By doing nothing, she essentially ruined a start of something good and hurt a person that did nothing wrong but be nice.

Alright the lecture is over. I can't force people to be nice to one another. What I can do is show you what jerks you are being. Grow a set and answer a person! 

So to close this up, Why is closure so hard to come by?...We have become complacent to common kindness and decency. There is still time to stop this. All you have to do is when you are asked a question, answer it truthfully. That's it.      




Keep questioning.

Love,

DD
Twitter: @DitzWitDTits

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

The Life of Blimey #6 - Skinny Hilton

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"I want to be the next Paris Hilton"
"I don't think so Minnie" says I.
More Words of Wisdom, I Think, From  our #TRAMPonline

Skinny Minnie, as her name suggests, has less meat on her than a butcher's apron.
"Does your family own a chain of high class hotels?"
"No"
"Are you named after the world's most romantic city?"
"What, Chelmsford? No"
"Have you made a sex tape?"
"Yes"
"WHAT? Please God no"
"Well it depends on whether there was any tape in the camera"
"Why, don't you know, Min?
"It wasn't my camera, Blimey"
"Well whose was it?"
"It could have been the council's"
"Huh?"
"Or the cricket club's"
"What?"
"Or the police"
"What the?"
I was afraid of where this was going.
"I guess I can't stop you from telling me all about it, Min"
"If you insist, Blimey. So I was giving Pie-eyed Pete a knee trembler..."
"Pie-eyed Pete?"
"He lost his eye in a pork pie incident"
"Knee-trembler?"
"You try standing on one leg for ten minutes, Blimey"
Bloody hell
"So was this at Pete's place, Min?"
"No, not quite. Unless by 'his place' you mean up against that tall pole in the middle of the cricket club car park"
"The one with the CCTV camera on top, Min?"
"Yes"
"I see where your coming from, Min"
"Well now the bloody council do, Blimey! Ha ha!

Tweet This Fool @TheBlimey

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Tuesday : ODDcast PODcast UK Ep.82

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Here is the Latest Episode of The ODDcast PODcast UK. Ep.82
Check it out. Subscribe and Share.

Episode Eighty TWO - Retweeting Simon Pegg's Pizza


The ODDcast PODcast UK, The Podcast Nobody is Listening to! #NOTlistening.
Hosted by Adam @BarkerPodcasts , Will @BadgerProdder and Ash @ConfusedasFark
Your Weekly Banter Filled Podcast from the heart of Essex. Contains Strong Language, Strong Opinions that may cause offence and Lots of Booze.

In Episode #82 of ODDpod, The Three Idiots with a Microphone sit down and are joined by Marcus @MHWebwizard from @MOVIEcomm. They sit down to discuss Beer-cade, Robot Wars, The NEW PS4, Simon Peggs Pizza and much much more.

Also in this Episode Adam sits down for Part 1 of the #TwitterMillion Chat with TV's Emma Kennedy @EmmaK67 as they talk and Raise money for Charity. A Show that went out LIVE on Google Hangout and You Tube, Emma answers viewers questions and talks about her involvement in Red Nose Day.
Part 2 is in Next Weeks Episode 83






You Can watch the Chat in FULL on You Tube here if you prefer



.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CINNENuWfxI



The ODDcast PODcast UK @ODDcastPODcast is Part of The Barker PODcasts Collection and Also The POD GODS Network @PodGods

Please Comment, Rate and Review us on iTunes and Fav and Thumb us up on @Stitcher
Check out the Other Great PODcasts in The Barker PODcasts Collection at www.barkerpodcasts.webs.com

Including It's NOT Soccer PodcastMOVIEcommPanic StationsAsk An American and Pod God Dammit

Monday, 18 March 2013

Minogue Monday #3 - Harlem Shake Special

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So No Posts this Weekend.....Why? well we were all busy!

So Better late than never, here is a Minogue Monday for you! and it's Pretty Dam Special! Enjoy

And come back for more intelligent posts...........or just come back for more of the same old........Here is some MINOGUE!




Friday, 15 March 2013

A Friday Moan!

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Hello all you folks with nothing better to do with the next five minutes. 

I missed last week, I'm fairly sure no one noticed. Adam rather grandly decided that I would have 'Fridays'. Imagine my shock, then, when my emo blog was made to look desperately inadequate by a much better blog about Keith Lemon on, you guessed it, Friday. I took a week off in protest. 

I thought this week I would cover a subject close to my heart: marriage. Suffice it to say, I'm a slight novice, having only been married for 12 days.Additionally, I only got to experience five days before I left my wife in the US. Careless, I know.  

My parents are pros, having been married for 38 years. I just hope I can achieve the same level of bickering in time.

I joke of course (it's kind of what I do), but it's crazy to think about that length of time. That's enough time to breed 7 Justin Biebers to full maturity or enough time to serve almost two life sentences for killing Justin Bieber and one member of One Direction.

Now comes the lengthy Visa process for my new lady wife, Steph. It's alarming how many hoops you have to jump through for an employable American woman, when Eastern Europeans who can't speak English wander in for the cost of a bus/ferry. ride. BNP-esque rant over.

When she's over there will be a party and you're all invited, metaphorically speaking. 

Gotta go. The new Pope has just been elected and I'm off to pop a balloon near him and see how good the old fart's ticker is. 

So wish us and him luck and I'll be back next week to share 'my' day again. Harrumph.

Follow @nerfspur

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Curiosity Killed the Ditz #5 BOOBS

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Curiosity Killed the Ditz: BOOBS
Why; the three little words that haunt my existence. From the moment I could speak I always wanted to know why. Now as an adult I am finding less and less people that want to answer my questions. I have been called nosy or weird, and angered many a person, with just those 3 letters. This is my story, quest you could call it, to try and find answers to my Whys.


Why are we so fascinated with boobs?


I love boobs. Now I want to make note that while I love boobs and I love women, I am not a lesbian. My body just wasn't built that way. Sometimes I wish it was. Male/Female relationships can be quite sucky at times. but I digress...

Boobs: Glorious, soft, round, jiggle, orbs of wonderfulness. I don't think there are enough adjectives to adequately describe my love and fascination with them. But Why?

The first and intended purpose of a boob is to feed a young human life. This is by far the most important task a boob can preform.Yup, that is why boobs are useful, but there is more. This is the beginning of a human's love affair with the breast. Not only did it feed many of us, it also comforted us with soft hugs and a place to lay our heads.  Little did the beloved women in our lives know, they were setting us on a path to worship and adoration.

After the notion above, the next thing I thought of was fun. How much fun are boobs! They jiggle like jelly, can be squeezed like play dough, and bounce. Oh, can they bounce. Owning a larger pair, I can attest the bouncing can be a pain in the back. Literally. I will still qualify it under fun.

Another fun thing, how people react to seeing them. From wet Tee Shirt contests to topless beaches, we all want to see them. Clothed, unclothed, big, small, it doesn't matter. We will hoot and holler, beg and plead, spend money, and throw beads, just to see them. Slip a nip and look out world :) (thanks Janet Jackson)

Next is comfort. To lay your head on a soft set of breasts and feel the gentle beat of the heart within, is wonderful. The warmth that emanates from them when they help to hug you close, is immeasurable. Breasts are the epitome of unconditional love. They just make people feel happy.

Now, here is the part you have been looking for. SEX, Boobs are great to have around during sex. I could go on an on about this but you and I both know, you can handle this part on your own. (OK. One tip a friend gave me: Tie your boobs together to create the channel instead of holding them. Hands will be free for whatever you might want)

Time to wrap it up...

Boobs, how do we love the, shale we count the ways? Nope, it would take to long. Why do they fascinate us? Well, that's easy! They are AWESOME!!!!!!


Keep questioning.
Love,
DD
Twitter: @DitzWitDTits





Wednesday, 13 March 2013

The Life of Blimey #5 - Great Head and Tits

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Another Post from Our Resident #TRAMPonline 

"Hey H"
"Fuck off"
"Charming. H, listen to me. I've got followers"
"Those are the coppers, Blimey"
"Of my blog. I've got readers of my blog"
"Hash tag; amazeballs"
For someone who had never been on Twitter, Big H seemed to be surprisingly up-to-date with social media speak.
"Yeah seems like I've got quite a following across the pond"
"What, in Writtle, Blimey?"
Writtle is the other side of Chelmsford. Between Moulsham Street and Writtle is a small duck pond in Central Park.
"No, America"
"Fuck off"
"Seriously"
"Fuck off"
"Yeah, quite a few"
"How many, Blimey?"
"Well, there's Liane and Ditz"
"Who else?"
"Great Head and Tits"
"Is that the same person? How many, Blimey?"
"Two. Anyway, that's not the point, H, I want to write something for my audience"
"You pretentious twat, Blimey"
"What can I write about, H, that is typically American?"
"Guns"
"No"
"Peanut butter"
"No"
"Shaved pubes"
"What? No"
"Broadway musical theatre"
"Maybe. No. I was thinking sports. What's your favourite American sport, H?"
"Dunno"
"Come on, H. Basketball, baseball, gridiron, hockey?"
"Taylor Swift"
"What?"
"She's a right sport. She'll let anyone have a go. Even an ugly fucker like you, Blimey"
"Thanks for the help, H"
"You're welcome, Blimey"

Tweet this Fool @TheBlimey

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Tuesday - The ODDcast PODcast Ep81

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The Latest Episode of The ODDcast PODcast UK is here! The Comedy/Banter Podcast

Episode Eighty One - The MEGA FOX!

The ODDcast PODcast UK, The Podcast Nobody is Listening to! #NOTlistening.
Hosted by Adam @BarkerPodcasts , Will @BadgerProdder and Ash @ConfusedasFark
Your Weekly Banter Filled Podcast from the heart of Essex. Contains Strong Language, Strong Opinions that may cause offence and Lots of Booze.

In Episode #81 of ODDpod, The Three Idiots with a Microphone sit down and chat about Star Wars, Mega Foxes, Prince Philip's Clangers, Ash tweeting at the Rugby and much more random banter from the boys in the ODDpod.





The ODDcast PODcast UK @ODDcastPODcast is Part of The Barker PODcasts Collection and Also The POD GODS Network @PodGods

Please Comment, Rate and Review us on iTunes and Fav and Thumb us up on @Stitcher
Check out the Other Great PODcasts in The Barker PODcasts Collection at www.barkerpodcasts.webs.com

Including It's NOT Soccer PodcastMOVIEcommPanic StationsAsk An American and Pod God Dammit

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Hayley Thrills: Head scarves!

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Head scarves are back in business!

Dolce and Gabbana have featured head scarves as an accessory for #SS13. They come in all colours, shapes and sizes. The more OTT and unique the better in my eyes. There is a sort of 1940’s/1950’s feel to the way some of the scarves are worn which is a great contrast to the hippie sort of ethnic way other scarves are being worn. The colour scheme of the scarves themselves matches the dresses and blouses they are worn with.

I love the tie and go look of this accessory. It’s so laid back and relaxed that if you were having a bad hair day (god forbid) then you could just grab your best scarf tie it in particular way at all and go about your day. This fashionable decoration looks great with sleek and messy updos but any style will do as you can make this trend your own.

I gave this style a go recently and loved it! Neon is about quite a bit at the moment so I killed two birds with one stone and used a bright coloured scarf. If your someone who wants to follow trends but you’re not sure if you will look right or wrong then the best thing to do is to embrace a style like this as its only one small part of your outfit, and it’s easier to take a head scarf off then a dress if you change your mind while you’re out.


Follow Me @HayleyThrills

Friday, 8 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Friday - It's NOT Soccer Ep.13 - All Hail The Bale!

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Here is Episode 13 of The Comedy/Sports Podcast "It's NOT Soccer" where Myself and Billy sit down and talk Sports, Funny Stories and as much laughter filled banter we can.
Enjoy!


Episode Thirteen - All Hail The Bale!

PLAY EPISODE

It's NOT Soccer Podcast is a Sports-Centric with the mixed ramblings of Hosts Adam @BarkerPODcasts and Billy @Bilo66. Each Episode The two sit down and discuss everything worth talking about in the world of Sport and much much more. Ranging from English Soccer to International Sports to Random Entertaining news and the Odd revelation from Billy.
It's a Sports Podcast........Kind Of!

In this Episode, Adam and Billy return for more random funniness and Sports themed chat. They discuss Billy and his inability to turn his mic on, The Lost Episode 13 that only a few people heard, Gareth Bale setting the footballing world on fire, Old Fat Sports stars, Adam and Billy pick an NBA team to support based on names, Billy recites a story about falling over drunk and more.

Listen in and enjoy The Show about Sports and More.




Please Rate and Review The Show on iTunes and Fav and Thumb Us up on @Stitcher
It's NOT Soccer is part of The Barker PODcasts Collection. You Can go and Enjoy the Other Podcasts in the Collection by visiting the Website and Liking The Facebook page. www.barkerPODcasts.webs.com

Podcasts include The ODDcast PODcast UKMOVIEcommPanic StationsPOD GOD Dammit! and Ask An American

Also Part of The POD GODS Network. Check the other Great shows too #PodGods

Thursday, 7 March 2013

Curiosity Killed the Ditz #4 BEING SELFISH

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Curiosity Killed the Ditz: Being Selfish

Why; the three little words that haunt my existence. From the moment I could speak I always wanted to know why. Now as an adult I am finding less and less people that want to answer my questions. I have been called nosy or weird, and angered many a person, with just those 3 letters. This is my story, quest you could call it, to try and find answers to my Whys.


Why is being selfish a bad thing?

This is a really tricky one for me. To know me is to know, I want everyone to be happy and content with me and the world. I will do just about anything to make someone else happy. I consider my self to be a very selfless person. I have even gone as far as judged people who I felt are selfish. Now, what I didn't realize is that selfish and selfless are connected by a figurative rubber band. If you pull too hard one way or another it will break. I know this because a few months ago I stretched my selfless rubber band to far and it just snapped.

What about me? Why must I always be “selfless”. Why do I have to be the one to bend, to compromise, to deny myself because it doesn't fit within the given “rules”. Well Fuck it. I am an adult and I am going to do what I want. Don't like it, don't look, don't put your judgments on me, I am my own person and will answer to myself and myself alone....

Warning: when making a change from selfless to selfish, there is a lot of collateral damage. Right now I would like to make a formal apology:

I am sincerely sorry to all the people who may have been hurt and who will be hurt by my journey. I love you all for staying with me and absorbing the hurt, disappointment, and sadness that I have and will cause. I understand if you can not stick around because it is too much to bear or too much trouble but appreciate those immensely that can give me their patience and forgiveness.” GMM

So where am I now? No friends, no boyfriend, alone and sad? No, I didn't go as crazy as above. I am still me. I still love to make others happy and want to please. Now though, I am trying to please myself first and then look to others. Call it selfish. It is, and I am OK with that. Today, I am still trying to find my balance between selfish and selfless. There has been collateral damage and that apology above is honest and true. I have some amazing people in my life and for that I am grateful.      


So Why is being selfish a bad thing? Its not. You just have to find your right balance.
Remember:

When you choose to be selfless, do so truly thinking about the other person.

When you choose to be selfish, be happy in it, there is nothing wrong with being selfish, Sometimes.

Lots of hugs to you because I selfishly want hugs back.

Keep questioning.

Love,
DD
Twitter: @DitzWitDTits

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

The Life of Blimey #4 - Dick the Shit

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"A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse...... burger" I was feeling hungry and didn't care what the meat was, as long as it was dead.
"Dick the Shit" came the somewhat random response from my fellow hobosapien Big H. He had recently acquired a set of dentures from the mortuary (don't ask) curing his speech impediment and making blog writing easier.
"I'm afraid to ask, H"
Big H had his head buried in an old copy of the Sun.
"Apparently they've found a pile of crap in a car park. How is that news, Blimey?"
"Not for the first time, H, I haven't a Scooby what you are on about"
"Says here they've unearthed a turd in a car park in Leicester"
"A shit in a car park is perfectly normal around here, H, especially on a Saturday night"
"It's perfectly normal in your doorway, Blimey"
"Don't start that again, H. Anyway, what are you doing reading the Sun? Thought you only looked at page 3."
"Yeah, lovely Bristols today, Blimey"
"Bristols, H?"
"Bristol City's"
"Ah rhyming slang - titties."
I grabbed the paper to see what H was talking about. The headline read 'Richard the Third found in Leicester Car Park'
"You idiot, H, the story is about archeologists finding the skeleton of King Richard the Third in a supermarket car park'
"Seems he was nearer to getting his horse than he thought then, Blimey"
"Are you pulling my chain, H?"
"Dick the Shit, Blimey, Dick the Shit"


Tweet This Fool @TheBlimey

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

#BPC Podcast #Tuesday - The ODDcast PODcast UK Ep80

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So Here is Episode 80 of The ODDcast PODcast UK. More Randomness and ODDness.



Episode Eighty - What Would Dannii Minogue Do?

PLAY EPISODE

The ODDcast PODcast UK, The Podcast Nobody is Listening to! #NOTlistening.
Hosted by Adam @BarkerPodcasts , Will @BadgerProdder and Ash @ConfusedasFark
Your Weekly Banter Filled Podcast from the heart of Essex. Contains Strong Language, Strong Opinions that may cause offence and Lots of Booze.

In Episode #80 of ODDpod, The Three Idiots with a Microphone sit down Guest Interview FREE! They discuss What Jesus would do, Product Placements in Movies Annoy Will, Uniform Fetish dating, MaineCoons (!), Something about Paris allowing women to wear trousers, The Walking Dead and Games of Throne get a Geeky mention, Ash Goes on about brewing beer and Micheal Caine does Dannii Minogue!





The ODDcast PODcast UK @ODDcastPODcast is Part of The Barker PODcasts Collection and Also The POD GODS Network @PodGods

Please Comment, Rate and Review us on iTunes and Fav and Thumb us up on @Stitcher
Check out the Other Great PODcasts in The Barker PODcasts Collection at www.barkerpodcasts.webs.com

Including It's NOT Soccer PodcastMOVIEcommPanic StationsAsk An American and Pod God Dammit