Wednesday, 6 March 2013

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The Life of Blimey #4 - Dick the Shit

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"A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse...... burger" I was feeling hungry and didn't care what the meat was, as long as it was dead.
"Dick the Shit" came the somewhat random response from my fellow hobosapien Big H. He had recently acquired a set of dentures from the mortuary (don't ask) curing his speech impediment and making blog writing easier.
"I'm afraid to ask, H"
Big H had his head buried in an old copy of the Sun.
"Apparently they've found a pile of crap in a car park. How is that news, Blimey?"
"Not for the first time, H, I haven't a Scooby what you are on about"
"Says here they've unearthed a turd in a car park in Leicester"
"A shit in a car park is perfectly normal around here, H, especially on a Saturday night"
"It's perfectly normal in your doorway, Blimey"
"Don't start that again, H. Anyway, what are you doing reading the Sun? Thought you only looked at page 3."
"Yeah, lovely Bristols today, Blimey"
"Bristols, H?"
"Bristol City's"
"Ah rhyming slang - titties."
I grabbed the paper to see what H was talking about. The headline read 'Richard the Third found in Leicester Car Park'
"You idiot, H, the story is about archeologists finding the skeleton of King Richard the Third in a supermarket car park'
"Seems he was nearer to getting his horse than he thought then, Blimey"
"Are you pulling my chain, H?"
"Dick the Shit, Blimey, Dick the Shit"


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