Sunday, 21 April 2013

Uncle Arthurs Blog-ocks: #2 Involuntary Evacuations and Other B*****ks

Uncle Arthur’s Bollocks is a podcast hosted by Lancastrian, Nigel Boydell. The show’s format revolves around Arthur’s opinionated ramblings about whatever has irked him that week. This Week Uncle Arthur discusses Involuntary Evacuations and Other Bollocks.




Uncle Arthur’s Bollocks is a podcast hosted by Lancastrian, Nigel Boydell. The show’s format revolves around Arthur’s opinionated ramblings about whatever has irked him that week. Although Arthur comes across as a foul mouthed old lout who appears to want everyone fired out of a cannon, he is, in fact, a foul mouthed old lout who wants everyone fired out of a cannon.

Episode 18

Involuntary Evacuations and Other Bollocks

 April 9 2013


Arthur settles back in his chair with a glass or three of something intoxicating and makes us all squirm as he draws our attention to something that most of us have experienced at differing levels, and with varying regularity.

(You know what its like, dont you? Fuck me. You have a shed full of ale, get of yer tits big time and stagger round to the kebab shop for a boatload of shit food. Its fuckin great! I love it, me! …. Arthur April 2013)

Yes, my friends, it is that familiar drunken visit to the kebab emporium after a nights excessive carousing.

He describes the anchor leg phenomenon that keeps us in a vertical plane and the wobbly head syndrome that threatens to reduce us to the horizontal. We hear about the hilarious uncontrollable acceleration, caused by the heads alcohol induced gravitational vagaries  that inevitably ends with the victim viewing the world from a spot some three inches above ground level.

(You do that acceleration thingy when yer fuckin heads centre of gravity goes to shit. You cant do fuck all cos youve got yer hands in yer pockets and youre too pissed to take them out. …. Arthur April 2013)

Arthur almost loses control as he regales us with a rather graphic account of the involuntary bowel evacuation that is the ultimate humiliation, but also the ultimate right of passage that elevates The Drinking Boy to The Drunken Man.

(And youre in the bathroom with shit down yer legs, washing yer underpants in the sink. And you evacuate yourself like a fuckin nuclear warhead! …. Arthur April 2013)


Listen to episode here:


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Enjoy Uncle Arthur responsibly, and please be aware, Uncle Arthurs Bollocks contains very strong language.

He can be found at:

@Uttertoshpod


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