Tuesday, 21 May 2013


#Mashion & #Meauty No.10 - Fifty Shades of Bad Tan!

The Tenth (#10) Post in this series of Posts where I challenge myself to try and understand the world of #BBloggers and even #FBloggers. So, Being from Essex, there's ONE thing I always get tweets about to discuss on this Males Perspective series of Blog Posts. And that is........Drum Roll Please.........FAKE TAN!

The Tenth (#10) Post in this series of Posts where I challenge myself to try and understand the world of #BBloggers and even #FBloggers.  Click HERE to read the Previous Entries if you haven't.

So, Being from Essex, there's ONE thing I always get tweets about to discuss on this Males Perspective series of Blog Posts. And that is........Drum Roll Please.........FAKE TAN!

Yes! Fake Tan! The thing that seems to epitomize what it means to be from Essex(!). Obviously this is all thanks to those BAFTA awarding winning stars of  The Only Way is Essex or TOWIE for short. And yes you didn't read that wrong, They DID win a BAFTA a few years back.

Anyway, I'm not here to slag off the show, I can't be bothered. If you like the show, you like the show. I can't be arsed to go on about it. I am here to talk about the FAKE TAN Craze.
I Really can't see what the appeal is. I get that having a decent tan can make many girls look great in a dress. Golden skin and tanned legs! Yes I can see how great they will look. But That's fine whilst out on holiday but on a freezing cold January night in the City centre, I find it strange to see ladies walking around as if they have just shared make up tips with an Oompa Loompa.

Ok, Obviously I am going on about OTT fake Tanning. A Little bronze to lighten your skin is fine, I get that, I approve that. BUT I thought I would discuss the OTT tanning, and throw up a few examples of BAD tanning.

Now surely, this whole idea of Fake tanning is to create the illusion that you've been sunning it up naturally and have a nice golden shimmer to you ( Oooh get me! Shimmer! ) but why go such a colour and have horrible make up to make you look awful?! Why? Why Didn't her friends stop her and say something?

Girl: "All done girls, how do I look?"
Friend: "Oh you look great hun, That Two Toned skin colour is so working for you!"

I Think the Lipstick makes that Photo look worse! I swear I know her!

I use to LOVE Chantelle Houghton. She was just a normal Essex girl who got lucky. Now I worry for her. She is OVER tanned, skinny and probably still has that Alex Reid Smell on her, which I wouldn't wish on anybody.

Oh Look! It's Everybody's favourite lady! Helen "I'll think after I've said something stupid" Flana...Flan....Her off I'm a Celeb. She put this Fake Tan on in the Jungle. It made great TV but I suspect she didn't intend it to be this hilarious.

One Girl I am extremely proud is embracing her Paleness, being a Pale being myself, is Nicola Roberts. She once attempted the Fake Tan route and it didn't look great.

How much better does she look natural? I say keep natural! Keep the Fake Tan down to a minimum  It's Not big and its not clever I don't think. Embrace your REAL colour Girls! And Even  Guys! Don't be tempted to change your skin tone. You are NOT Michael Jackson!

Hope You are enjoying my series of Posts. Please feel free to leave me your thoughts below and even a Tweet at @BarkerPODcasts  


  1. Fab post, now I am a fake tan addict although I agree a more natural approach is the way forward! I've definitely been there with the OTT look in the past but now I much prefer the natural looking tan and make up looks so muh better!

    1. Oh yeah, you've got to blend it in lol. Don't know why people go OTT with it x

  2. haha. LMAO at "I swear I know her". I have nothing against fake tan if it's natural, BROWN, it can make you look healthier and can even make you look slimmer, BUT when you look orange and you're wearing the palest pink lipstick there is, then you look more sick than healthy. I had one school mate that loved to tan (I don't know if she fake tanned or went out in the sun), but when she caked up her face with makeup, she looked dirty! Srsly. I don't know what makes them think that orange and overly burnt looks attractive.
    I was always a bigger fan of pale even skin. Like Jessica from True blood for example - she's like perfect in my eyes!
    Another great post!

    1. Yeah I know so many people who tend to prefer the orange colour. They live in denial too lol

  3. Fake tan can either make you or break you! A little fake tan that looks natural can look so pretty and make you really glow. But looking like an oompa loompa or like your hobby is rolling in shit.. No, not so much! I laughed so hard at the "Friend conversation" hahaha! So true!
    I always wonder, isn't there anyyyybody who tells the girls: hey uhm I think it's better if you go hiding in a cave until your fake tan fades away, cause giiiiiirl, you look hideous...

    Oh and not to mention the tanorexic girls and Tan-mom! Hooo.. So, so nasty.


    1. HAHA Rolling in shit! I KNOW THOSE GIRLS! lol xxx

  4. Not a fake tan fan so definitely agree with this! Another great post Adam :)

    Jess xo

  5. Being a fellow Essex person and a girlie I had to pop a comment LOL. I do fake tan reguarly and I like my tan dark. However, here's the big BUT. BUT I do not look orange. I aim for natural. I aim for 'just come back from holiday', that nice golden glow - I don't wear the pale look well and even now I'm light blonde again can look really ill pale. I know many of the bad 'orange' tan jobs can be from cheap tanning products. But seriously fellow essex'ers - if price is the issue, grab some St Moriz tanning mousse, its under £4 lasts ages and gives you a NON ORANGE tan - there job done. Lovely piece hun, I feel your pan with this post I really do, M x

    1. You know, I never thought maybe cheap products could affect bad tanning lol.
      thanks for the comment. Us Essex Peeps need to stick together lol

  6. Great post once again Adam! Keep them coming :-D

    Hels XX