Tuesday, 14 January 2014

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#Mashion & #Meauty No.16: The Golden Globes 2014 Red Carpet Review

People wanted my views on the fashion from the recent Red Carpet at the #GoldenGlobes. So here they are.

The Sixteenth (#16) Post in this series of Posts where I challenge myself to try and understand the world of #BBloggers and even #FBloggers.  Click HERE to read the Previous Entries if you haven't.

Hey! How are you? Really? Oh, better get that sorted out. I am sure the doctor can prescribe you something for that. So other than that, all good? Yeah? Fantastic. Lets get on shall we? Good.

Hello There, I am back here adding a post to the infamous #Mashion and #Meauty posts you all seem to like reading. Probably more than anything else I do, and I hardly put less effort into these than anything else, so what does that mean? Bloody politics.
So The Golden Globes 2014 has been and gone, but before you gear up for the BAFTAs and Oscars, I was asked by many of you lovely people out there via social networking, stalking and pigeon carriers, to do another "Red Carpet" review on the fashion on show at the ceremony.
Again, I must make this clear, I ain't got a clue about fashion (men and womens) so everything I say is purely a reaction to what I see. So are you ready? Let's have look at what they were wearing.....

LOIS LANE: It's Lois Lane! Blending in with the Red Carpet! Where the dress ends and the carpet starts is a mystery! I hope they made sure she wasn't on the carpet still before they rolled it up, that could be a bit awkward to explain to the dry cleaner "Sorry, We accidentally washed an actress" That sort of thing costs extra.

EMMA "Old enough now" WATSON: A Dress and Trousers?! This is her rebellious side coming out. "Hey Emma wear this dress" "NO! I'm Emma Fucking Watson, I wanna wear trousers too!........and NO Bra!" Yes Emma! You go girl!

CAITLIN SOMEONE: I don't know who this lady is, but I like a bit of baby blue! Can't make fun of this dress because she looks nice. The Kind of nice you like to send home to mother, bake a cake and then let you sleep with Emma "No Bra" Watson because she's ever so nice
*This comment was sponsored by MAD MEN*

DRAGON LADY:  AHHHHH Dragon Lady from "Game of Thrones" has gone brown haired! She looks great and I can't wait to see what her Dragon looks like. Maybe she Drag-jazzelled them up for the occasion. Don't say anything bad about her, I have learnt that over 3 seasons! 

THE QUEEN: I am not being funny, But Somewhere out there, there is an oil painting of Helen Mirren stuck in somebodies attic getting very very old. That is all I can work out how she looks better women half her age! Surely a GILF? 

MEG FROM FAMILY GUY: Apparently the most beautiful woman in the world, looking pretty average! Take a leaf out of Mirren's book Kunis! Dress looks OK. OK must be the worst comment to make about a dress! OK.

LEN WISEMAN'S WIFE: Did she mean to go to an awards ceremony dressed as statue? Is this an inception style trick to make people connect awards and her? Maybe subliminal messaging to remind people that Awards and Kate belong together. If so, expect Underworld Part 35 to win big in 2015!

PRETTY WOMAN: It's Julia Roberts! and she shows Emma "I'm Hip to wear both" Watson how A Listers do it! A Dress and a Shirt! Maybe trousers underneath, who knows! She is Vivian from "Pretty Woman" so shut up! If she want's to wear a dress and shirt, she can, Richard Gere said so!

JEN LAW: Every Woman's 'Girl Crush' can do no wrong! She could wear a bin bag that reads "I Hate The Colour Purple" and people would still love her. Why she would openly say she hated a Spielberg classic starring Whoopi Goldberg is beyond me, but Jen Law is a star who always looks great! And that is a Fact!

MISS CONGENIALITY: Who doesn't love Sandy? What do you mean you don't? Get the Fuck off my page! This lady went into space and came back a hero! How dare you! I don't care if this dress is horrendous and that it looks like somebody made it in textile class, she had a tough in space! Leave her alone! 

GLORIA FROM MODERN FAMILY: This is gorgeous! Stunning! Beautiful! Exactly what you want to see on the Red Carpet year in , year out. Well Done Sofia! Oh, and the dress is alright I suppose.

HARRY STYLES'S EX: I am afraid to say anything bad about Taylor Swift incase she writes a song about me or something.........Prissy little bitch.

So there you go. What do you think? Let me know


  1. Omg, I lol'd at everything you've written. So funny :D
    Firstly, Jen looks wow! Like you said, she could wear anything and she'd look good, no doubt. I belive she's everyone's crush. I would never date a guy who doesn't have a crush on Jen. :)
    Surprisingly, Emma Watson looks awesome! I see no Hermione here, only a true grownup beautiful lady. She can wear anything. I am actually glad that someone is daring enough to wear something else than a classic dress. Helen Mirren is such a lady, green suits her. Dragon lady looks good with darker hair (even with blonde). Mila is still beautiful, I think that average makes her even more beautiful. With that said, what is beautiful anyways? I admire her personality, if she'd be dressed in a garbage bag, she's be beautiful to be. I'd be cheering for her :)
    That baby blue dress looks too baby for me, if that makes sense :D
    Taylor annoys me. Her face to me that pretty that I can't say that she's pretty. So she's no pretty. Lol. She looks too sweet and innocent and it makes me nervous. lol
    I don't watch Modern family but I watched it once and I didn't really like it. Saw Gloria on Ellen, but she didn't really enchant me. I like her dress trhough.Can't never go wrong with classic.
    I love Sandy! Can I stay? ;) I don't like her dress though. ;)

    Nice job, mate! Can't wait for Oscars :DD Xx

    1. A comment longer than my post! love it!!
      and YES you can stay after all. Sandy Rules xx

  2. WASHED AN ACTRESS. Actual lols. I love these posts :)


    1. around 3 to 4 actresses a year get accidentally washed after awards season. it's a tragic statistic

  3. V funny but I watched GG and Jlaw dress I thought was awful!!! Trying too hard to be different as is Emma Watson! I prefer old fashioned glamour! Julia Roberts again trying too hard to be different but then respect she's my fav actress so can't comment!

    1. you have a bad word to say about Jen Law????? you thats like treason in fashion world or something??!

  4. Foul mouthed Emma Watson, I love the very idea. Watch out for that Taylor Swift though, there'll be a song written before you know it.

    Also yes I adore Jennifer Lawrence - I am not ashamed!

    Sharon :)

    1. Taylor can write what she likes, she'll ruin it with a catchy harmony and chorus and I'll end up buying it!.......bitch!

      and Foul mouthed Emma Watson is my new favorite thing! Lets make it a thing! It has to be a thing!

  5. Oh jeez Adam, these posts make me CRY. Completely agree with you on Sandra Bullock...love her but WTF is that dress?! x

    1. Don't cry. I can't handle crying on my blog. Yes Sandy is a legend. But she looks like a rag doll. Maybe all that space air got to her. X