Wednesday, 14 August 2019

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Waking from a Blogging Coma | #NOTblogging

Why did I stop blogging? I still don't know why i started!

What the fuck is blogging?

So, it's been a long while! Literally it's been years since I actively opened up this website/blog and actively had a good look at it or even thought about writing anything. Even though the posts have been consistent from #NOTwatching and #NOTplaying podcast posts (which in case you didn't know HAVE NOTHING to do with me creatively! Those awesome podcasts are the work of some people with in the #NOT family). With those posts aside, the last actual "podcast" I released was back in October 2018......even that was a podcast version of a radio show which I recorded back in 2017!!

If I actually go back to when I was actually actively writing or podcasting/radio presenting it's been 3 or 4 years!! That is insane to think I have not been very creative and productive with this website since 2015 in the main. I used to have regular posts coming out that ranged from comedy podcasts! Film reviews! Fake interviews with Gwyneth Paltrow and even plenty of fashion related posts that caused quite a stir with some other bloggers!!

To clarify i have NEVER met GPAL!

If I think as to why I seemed to have gone into some kind of blogging coma, I can only think that my personal life got neglected due to this world and I went on a downward spiral which took me a while to get out off!

"Oh Great! Another Mental Health Post?!"

Well, let's set it straight, maybe this is a post about mental health or maybe it's not! Maybe this an off the cuff post that i needed to write to give myself a boost in creativity, self care and mindfulness! Don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to care/worry/know about my life and circumstances and that is purely because those that know me, know me! This whole world of #NOTlistening and beyond was created for entertainment, fun, creativity and more. I never want that to change, I want that to always be the focal point. With all the podcasts (many still going #NOTwatching and #NOTplaying) archived and still available maybe they can find new listeners every day, which judging by the downloads is still a valid statement.

My blogging side of things blew up with the whole #Mashion and #Meauty world back in 2013-2015 where I was able to express my views on female fashion and beauty with comic tongue in cheek commentary. I managed to hit some nails right on the head whilst also completely missing the mark by miles. Regardless, this was always so much fun. I used this who topic to actually mask my interest and passion into make up and fashion! Something that years ago I joked about but over the past years I have grown to embrace and learn to openly talk about and share my love of!......Yes! I Love make up and fashion as much as the next woman! I don't believe that my gender needs to define my interests! Over the past year I have actually been doing an online make up artists course too! It's pretty obvious to say my gender identification needed looking into and my acceptance of how I see myself. I don't like labels! I am very fluid! I am comfortable. I enjoyed being part of the beauty bloggers community and hope I can maybe return back to writing more but with a more honest approach.

Anyway, I know I have changed so much within myself since my last conscious efforts to get creative with this blog. My personal well-being has improved and my mental health has really improved. I feel like I am ready to return to sharing my love of things with like-minded people. I had a strange few years where a certain person online used my online world to attack my choices and it really affected how I saw the way I presented myself online. It took me back and kind of killed part of my drive to share and collaborate and create. Only recently have I realised that my interests and life is not something for somebody to dictate and scrutinise when it's not hurting others nor is it affecting the geenral balance of the world. I truly believe that you need retrospective in these things and not allow the online world (including blogging/podcasting) to take over who you are. in 2019 I am older and slightly more aware of my choices and how I can best utilise them to influence my mood.

I am not going to lie, but the minute I started writing this blog post, I had no idea what I was going to write! Seriously, I have just allowed myself to just blurt out whatever I feel needs to be said. It's very therapeutic to just write your truth and this feels like that. Should I even post this? Why not! I am not looking for hits and likes, I just feel that maybe I owed some sort of explanation (not to specific people) in general to get things off my chest. Even now, I am not sure where and why all this came out but it feels good to write again!

I want to pick up where I left, but without the pressure of having to follow rules and guidelines! When I started podcasting I did it as a hobby and bit of fun, then it got more constructed and hard work. I want to find the balance of doing something fun with my mates and sharing creative ideas!

Thanks for reading this, whoever you are, I don't expect this to be a life changing post, many of you are probably skimming through it anyway, but I do appreciate the time you took to click the link and read. I will be back with more posts, maybe more podcasts and maybe more creative ideas to keep me happy.

I always say for people to be the best you!......even if you don't know who that you is, it's worth looking for.

I feel like I should sign this off with something wanky like "Peace Out" but that feels false. Maybe I'll just sign off this post with a quote to live by....

"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"

A Random Photo of Bianca Del-Rio!......For no reason whatsoever!

Check it out. A NSFW (Not safe for Work) Podcast that will keep you entertained during your commute, work day, time alone on the toilet or whatever you do when nobody is looking.

You can Listen to the #NOTlistening Podcast at the following places:

Featuring Regular Contributors AdamWill and Ash
Music written and Performed by Mat Frost

The #NOTlistening Podcast
A Totally Irrelevant Comedy Podcast
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